Educating our children, on sexually related topics may generate fear or shame on many parents, but it is something we have to take care of. Communication is key. The more informed our children are on sexual education, making a clear differentiation on assertive and quality of the information, will guarantee that they make objective decisions about what is right for them.
WHEN DOES A CHILD LEARN ABOUT SEXUALITY?
Your child starts learning about sexuality from young age, when he sees his parents showing affection and believing that this is the way to give affection to others. As parents, you should be careful, since when they see fights and mistreating each other, they start believing that this is the correct way to treat the person you love. So they will eventually treat their friends and future partners the same way. Our children also learn about sexuality when we embrace or hug them, how we communicate with them, when we have acts of love and appreciation on special occasions.
As a recommendation remember to think before you speak to your child. Non proper beliefs about feminism may affect their future relationships.
IS IT APPROPRIATE TO KISS MY CHILD IN THE MOUTH?
It is NOT adequate! The mouth, in addition to having many bacteria, is one of the areas with very sensitive terminals and related to sexuality, especially the lips.
“The erogenous zones are all those parts of the human body (not exclusively the genital organs) that present a greater sensitivity and whose stimulus has the purpose and result to sexually activate a person. Different areas of the body can be more or less erogenous in each person, that is, there are great individual differences in this sense.”
Although some parents may consider kissing in the mouth an expression of love, they are actually reinforcing in their children that it is ok that other people kiss their child or even their child can express their affection for their friends regardless of whether it is girl or boy, kissing them in the mouth.
The same goes for parents who play bites and pinches on the buttocks or in sensitive areas: ears, navel, neck etc; Unintentionally they are stimulating areas that in the future will be erogenous zones or related to sexuality.
CAN I TAKE A BATH WITH MY CHILD?
It is not inappropriate to bathe with your child, but at a certain age it should be discontinued, around age 4 and a child should be able to bathe alone, touching his genitals to clean them, should be done by himself and not by his parents.
Also try not to be naked in front of the child, teach him modesty and respect for the body. Do not undress him in public places to change him, teach him that the appropriate place is the restroom.
CAN MY SON SLEEP WITH US?
It is not advisable for your child to sleep in the same bed or room with their parents, privacy is sacred and there are children who fall asleep and can see dad and mom in their intimate moments, creating confusion or over stimulation.
CAREFULL WITH THE CLOTHES OR MAKEUP THAT YOU PUT YOUR DAUGHTER!
Blouses that expose the belly area, short skirts, makeup, etc, are things that as parents we must regulate or control; everything has its moment and age.
CAREFULL WITH EXPRESIONS YOUR SON MAY ACQUIRE FROM PARENTS SUCH AS:
Look at that woman … she’s Hot !! Or go pinch the buttocks to your cousin! Better promote in him, to see the value in woman and not lead him little by little to be in the future, a promiscuous man and uncontrolled with his sexuality. Be a good role model to your child, show your love to your partner, be kind, act with the end in mind of strengthening your child´s value for family.
TIPS FOR GIRLS AND CHILDREN:
Do not stimulate courtships from early ages, I know that it is done in the manner of jokes but children believe it to be true what they are told. You may be well teaching unintentionally your daughter to flirt with children from childhood causing them as teenagers to have a desire to have relationships ahead of time. And with little to none control or regulation. Strive to ensure that your child is respectful, friendly, complies with responsibilities, helps out around the house and has strong values.
WHAT TO ANSWER WHEN HE ASKS THINGS ABOUT SEXUALITY?
Read books, search in google, consult the school psychologist, but do not leave his question unanswered. Thank him for the confidence to ask you about this type of issues and be ware to answer him in an honest manner. It is better for him to obtain this information from a good source instead of what he may hear in any other context.