How not to feel you are losing yourself in the crowd

The world is changing and so do you. It is natural to evolve and overcome hard times as proof that you can survive and continue the species. This is the main idea from Darwin´s research work. But you are more than a species, you are more than someone who was born and needs to full fill the expectations from society. You are the perfect combination of the unique circumstances you were designed for.

The power of the media, social networking, financial trial, Covid-19 pandemic are some examples of how you can be persuaded and going on the wave and make your life “easier”. Those circumstances are modeling the way you are performing in life: thinking and evaluating what are you doing with your life, if you are seizing the opportunities, if you feel good with yourself but comparing yourself with others around you, if you can leave a memory in history or being someone extraordinary such as the people in the media. It is a lot of pressure. And, sometimes in the rush to fit in and be “normally accepted” you follow someone´s rules instead of recognizing yourself as unique, powerful, and human but sharing yourself with the world.

How can you do that? Is not simple, real life being not easy but it is amazing when you decide to identify unhealthy behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and reconstruct your mindset for good. According to this, the psychotherapist Amy Morin recommends 13 things mentally strong people don´t do. For example, mentally strong people do not waste their time and energy thinking about the problem, instead, they focus on creating a solution. This is flexibility, an executive function that we are developing at school. Using the time wisely, preparing a goal tracker, taking at least plan A and a backup plan. Don´t waste time feeling sorry for yourself, take the moment to accept what happened, evaluate circumstances, and move forward.

Making peace with the past, so you can live for the present and plan for the future. Every experience changes you, teaches you, and sometimes, puts you on the target line. Those moments or decisions are values now because show you something about yourself that you couldn´t know before. Mentally strong people don´t dwell on the past. Use the experience to make better choices using soft skills such as resilience, emotional intelligence, and growth mindset. Those skills can lead you to become the person you want to be.

Mentally strong people don´t give up after a failure. It is normal to feel embarrassed, discouraged, and downright defeated when your first attempts don’t work. These feelings are proof that you were doing your best and push yourself to the limits to achieve your goal and going up to the roof.  Is important to feel down to learn how to stand up. Curiosity, self-management, and grit can improve your capacity to maintain your head up with pride.

To feel you are living your own life, live focus on your values and beliefs, even when your choices aren’t popular. This means you can express to the world your point of view but using democratic statements to fit in. Mentally strong people don´t worry about pleasing others, they are aware of others’ perspectives but making their own´s choices. Empathy, communication, and social intelligence can help you to share your ideas without being intransigent.

Finally, enjoy the little things in life, be patient with your process and smile from the bottom of your heart.


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